A COCOON FOR THE TWO

It always confused her. She did not know how to respond to these questions. She had never seen her father. It was just her ‘Ma’ and her since the events of her life had unfolded and left marks on her. She always wondered the root of questions like, “what does your father do?” or “what’s your father’s name” or “where is your father”.

She simply did not know how to answer them. While on the primal stages of her life she would stare at her mother wondering what was going on who would save her from the horror and control the situation. Later on after gaining the insight about it, she would simply tell people what ‘Ma’ told her father used to do. Not having a father or father like figure never had bothered her, it didn't matter. ‘Ma’ was her life, her friend, philosopher her guide. Her whole life was centered around the women who bore her, gave birth to her and was with her on every recollection of her life.

She used to see children her age with a man along with their mothers. Though young and inexperienced, she knew the importance of a ‘papa’ or ‘dad’ in lives of a kid but that never made her unhappy; there was no reason to be. ‘Ma’ was providing her with each and every aspect of happiness that she could expect for or maybe even more.

With time came understanding and now she taught herself the art of dwindling the question, turn it around somehow and speak about ‘Ma’ instead or simply ignore the fact that a question about the father was asked to her. She would now throw back a totally different question to the enquirer or reel them into a topic which was unavoidable leaving the father-ly questions behind.

She and her mother had created a cocoon within themselves, a world of their own, where no one else fitted. Everyone was welcome though but these two were for each other with each other. As years went by she had to leave her mother to pursue her dreams. 

Her mother was left dejected. The cocoon was as if broken, invaded by the daughter’s dreams. But she had to let her go. To spread wings and fly, only to come back running into her arms in a few years to come. Nothing made the mother happier. But she had to go again. Her dream was still unfulfilled, the thirst still insatiable.  ‘Ma’ was miserable again. ‘Ma’ couldn’t keep the daughter even if she wanted. Her hope was dying. She was dying inside, every minute, every moment.

And one day ‘Ma’ couldn't take it anymore. The cocoon was half empty anyway, it was time for ‘ma’ to leave and fly away too. So there she was flying for heaven leaving the daughter behind, forever this time. The void of the cocoon was never going to fill again.

She was just left to her own devices. All the questions, all the queries ended only to be directed to her whereabouts now. Not about her father, not about her mother, just about her. Her father she never knew about neither did she care. Her ‘Ma’ would remain in the safe house of her heart forever. ‘Ma’ left, but she left her independent, strong and fierce. Not alone but with a cocoon full of experience and memories to be reminisced times and again.