LETTER FROM AN ALMOST GROWN UP DAUGHTER

-
Hey Ma,

 I make even better tea now. The subtle lingering flavour of Adrak in it; just the way you liked. Though you liked me to put lots and lots of sugar, I add just a spoonful for myself. You see I have learned quite a few things now and also got better at things that I already knew. But you know, I wish you were here to witness that. You would have still cringed and chided me for all that I learnt; but I would have still appreciated it.
   
  I have learnt to be independent just as I witnessed you while growing up. I try to grant no favour from others at all. You would have liked to see that. I have calmed down unlike before too. Remember how much we fought and screamed at each other every couple of days leading to not talking to each other. Just not talking, we did everything else as usual. But now I barely fight with anyone. Besides, whom will i fight with? I’m growing up.
   
   I go to the hairdresser to style my hair now. How scared I was to go to the parlour. And it was just you who always cut my hair, even if it took you forever! That reminds me the 10.30 pm hair chopping by you ‘coz I wanted that Priyanka Chopra look from the disastrous “Pyaar Impossible” immediately. The people at salon are good enough for me now.

   I save money howsoever I can now. I know how much you scolded me for wasting your money for unnecessary things. Though I still do that sometimes, I mostly remember your, “nije jetia earn koribi tetia poisar mulyo gom paabi ”. I’m trying to save for another foreign trip now.

But mostly to your utmost irritation I am still the same at many a things even today.

   I still can’t wake up early on my own. I use alarms now. Thanks to smart phones! I still hate it! And you hated it that I hated it. And I still dislike that you used to wake me up at 5 effing 30 to just make green tea for you! Maybe you never knew, but I used to slide inside the bed and slept till 11 the moment you used to leave for school at 6.30.
I’m still messy and unorganised. I really don’t like (read: too lazy) to keep things all neat and clean. Don’t see the fun in it. You screamed at me until I did it. I still do it only when I absolutely can’t find anything in my room anymore. Please don’t haunt me in my dreams for this okay.

   And strangely in some cases, the things where we collided in interests have become similar. I remember how much you were scared of riding pillion in bikes and scooters for the fear of toppling down the ride. You would be happy enough to know that I am dead scared of this thing called riding bikes now and I don’t know why. Same thing happened with heights. Just as you used to feel giddy to look down from tall buildings and bridges; I now am extremely terrified of heights. Though, unlike you, I try to overcome that fear.

   I also know you’d have been very happy to see that they tried to ban maggi but sorry to disappoint, your daughter’s love can’t be far away for much longer. The ban has been lifted!

   I hope the next life is treating you well. I know it is. Though I miss you terribly at times. Especially when there’s a nice tall guy passing by me, or when he opens his mouth and all his appeal comes down to -2/10. :P Enjoy your five year old self and the new bodily experiences, but do feel free to visit sometimes through my dreams or like the way you did a few years ago. I know now that it was you. Sorry, I got a little scared at that time; I won’t be this time I swear.
Have a great life ahead.

Your daughter from the previous life


P.S again: I miss you.

Comments

  1. Mausumi dasNovember 5, 2015 at 4:40 PM

    wow...such a touchy lines...love u d

    ReplyDelete
  2. mayuriNovember 5, 2015 at 11:06 PM

    wow...amazing.it got me emotional.i too lost my mom ten years ago and i know how it feels not to have your mom around.she was my best friend and i miss her terribly.i miss those chit chats, small fights..being a girl, i miss her when i have no one to turn to, to share something, to advice and suggest me... really beautiful piece of work..simple yet so touching..keep writing..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ankitaNovember 6, 2015 at 1:03 AM

      Thanks for appreciating.. in my mom I had my best friend.. I still talk to her in my head sometimes when I need to share something really important and answer it myself thinking to be in her shoes.. it helps sometimes.. :)

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When the odds met

-
Image
My eyes moved from the first row and it got stuck to the second last seat by the window in the left. It was empty and it looked cozy and welcoming. The bus I just boarded for home was practically empty with just a few college students and 3-4 elderly people sitting here and there leaving the back of the bus alone..in darkness..    The untimely shower had made some people miserable and had disintegrated their lives leaving the streets deserted and making the city look like a distant, sleepy suburb at 8 PM. But they had to admit, the rains left its beauty behind washing up the unbearable dust and bringing down the temperature for people to take a sigh of a short lived relief. I loved it.    Leaving everyone behind, I reached to the seat that I had already assigned to myself inside my head. As I settled down after folding my 3-fold umbrella messily and trying to dry off the marks of the rain from my soaking head and arms I dunked my head inside my bag searching for the
Read more

And this what we call is ‘life’

-
Image
No, I am not a corporate bug. Neither am I a desk and chair person. I am a person who likes not to be bound and left to a computer to work on data, numbers and figures. But being in a society that only likes security and stability in all the spheres of their lives I am trying to stick around.    I opted for a course that offered me a platform to pursue my dream of freedom and creativity. But lesser did I know that it is seldom going to come handy in my future.  I had a raging fantasy about being independent and strong, outgoing and free with a mission in my head and lots more to do. To write a book or rather a memoir, travel to unknown lands with just the camera in my hand (oh yes I can click to save myself!), live alone and cook myself, meet or maybe just observe new people as I am not a very talkative one here, collect numerous souvenirs from places I traveled, create a new memory every day.   So, as decided and worked upon, I even got a few chances to fulfill the dream o
Read more

A COCOON FOR THE TWO

-
It always confused her. She did not know how to respond to these questions. She had never seen her father. It was just her ‘Ma’ and her since the events of her life had unfolded and left marks on her. She always wondered the root of questions like, “what does your father do?” or “what’s your father’s name” or “where is your father”. She simply did not know how to answer them. While on the primal stages of her life she would stare at her mother wondering what was going on who would save her from the horror and control the situation. Later on after gaining the insight about it, she would simply tell people what ‘Ma’ told her father used to do. Not having a father or father like figure never had bothered her, it didn't matter. ‘Ma’ was her life, her friend, philosopher her guide. Her whole life was centered around the women who bore her, gave birth to her and was with her on every recollection of her life. She used to see children her age with a man along with their mothers.
Read more